I had a good weekend but Sunday nights are always hard for me. Ever since I was little I've had a difficult time forcing myself to go to sleep, especially on Sunday nights. I hate giving up on the day, and the weekend. I also don't like being alone, the feeling of an impending seven or eight hours of darkness by myself...I slept in my parents' bed for an embarrassingly long time. I missed my family when I was at school and wanted to stay home a lot. I was kind of isolated at school (not profoundly, I did have friends) but I always felt set apart, the "smart kid." At home I belonged. Wow, this post got really reflective fast. I guess that on those nights when I'm alone, when my boyfriend is not staying over and I'm left to my thoughts, I sometimes recall that little girl feeling of "I'm alone and I'm scared. Daddy?!" The tv or a book usually keeps me company until I cannot keep my eyes open another second (I've fallen asleep over Tom Stoppard countless times over the past few months).
No matter how aware I am of the pattern, I often fall into a bad mood on Sunday around 6 or 7pm. I'm more likely to get into a fight with Tom, to overeat, to stay up too late, or to generally indulge in escapist fantasies of running away to the Pacific Northwest. I lament "not getting enough done." Nevertheless, I did "get stuff done" this weekend and had some fun too. On Friday I worked front-of-house for the James Hunter/Ryan Shaw show (I met them both, quite lovely...Ryan's band asked me where the parties are...) and finally left Zoellner at the stroke of 11:45pm. Tom and I slept in on Saturday (glorious!) and had a late breakfast at the Bistro, ran errands, and vegged around the apartment. I finally got my dishes done! We had a birthday dinner for Katie and Shannon at the Asian Bistro (which I'd never been to and loved, except for the extremely long wait time) and then Allie and her boyfriend Matt came over and watched Blazing Saddles. It was a really great night - I felt so close to my friends and so thankful to have them. I haven't done a whole lot with people at Lehigh over the years, but this year I've tried to be more engaged and I have really enjoyed getting to know the girls better and being included. On Sunday Tom and I went home to his house to watch the Eagles game...disappointing, but the third quarter redeemed the terrible first half...and then back up to DeSales and Lehigh, respectively.
I'm looking forward to class on Tuesday. Practice those "1,2s"!
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