1:1

The one-on-one coaching with Kashi reminded me of the only other acting class I've had with her - Intro, Freshman Seminar. I forgot that she liked to meet with us individually - I recall our scenes from A Lie of the Mind...ah memories. I kind of expected more interruption/side coaching, but she reserved her notes for the end. Kinda wanted her to get in there and push us, give us an in-the-moment experience, but in the end the scenes were truly ours to develop out of class with very little intervention. Kashi used the exercises rather than the scenework to affect us spontaneously, and our scenes became the test of our application of those exercises.

I appreciated the extra time in my day and had fun twirling my garments in the lobby. Silly theatre kids. I love us. I love singing, spinning, rolling on the floor, generally making asses of ourselves and sharing in the foolishness. Wouldn't the world be so much better if everyone took time to PLAY?

On a fun side note: I just discovered that The Second City and Columbia University Chicago have started a "Comedy Studies" semester of study. A course load of Improv, Sketch, History of Comedy, Comedy in Context, and seeing performances at Second City and the other comedy venues of Chicago. YES PLEASE!!! Perhaps in 2010???

Is She Throwing Up or Laughing?

Soooo it was my birthday last weekend! It was a wonderful three days, packed with fun, friends, family and some needed relaxation. Truly one of my more memorable birthdays.

Friday night our entire P-Styles class (plus others) gathered in my tiny apartment to drink and be merry. At one point there were fifteen people in my 10' X 12' living room. It felt so good to host them, to have lots of noise and laughter in my place where it's usually pretty quiet and sometimes a bit lonely. I drank bounteous amounts, and it felt like I was celebrating my 21st - last year I had a mellow birthday, dinner with Tom, quiet night at home, so it felt like I was having the 21st with friends that I'd missed out on. Katherine and Katie made me a cake and cupcakes! Billie Jean made her famous chocolate balls (many jokes resulted), and Alex gave me the last of his tanqueray, Justin left me a pretty flower, Bess gave me Burt's Bees lip balm (my lips thank you!...well, I guess lips DO usually thank people...) Thank you all, my lovely lovelies, for sharing the night with me. I haven't celebrated my birthday with Lehigh folks before - it was very special.

Saturday I went home to my dad's and his wife and my sister cooked a great meal composed of my favorites: Blackened cajun tilapia, corn casserole, kale with onions and garlic, and a lemon poppyseed cake. My sister got me the book I've been lusting after: Michael Palin's diaries from the Monty Python years. I also got a beautiful scarf and a bottle of wine from the winery my dad and I visited when we were in Italy. Castelli Verrazzano Chianti Classico- and from the year we were there! Very precious.

On Sunday my mom and family came out to my apartment to shower me with gifts - money already deposited in my account for the purchase of an iPod! We went right over to the Apple Store and returned home with my very own iPod Classic. I'm finally in touch with the times. Then we went to Melt where they spent way too much money on my meal but we had a fantastic time. I finally got to sit in front of the fireplace - I've been eying up those tables since it opened - and had a delicious dinner of seafood spiedini (tuna, chilean sea bass, shrimp and scallops on a grilled cabob) and mascarpone polenta. I salivate at the thought of it.

It was hard to have the weekend end. But there's always spring break to look forward to!

Baker's Dozen

Well, Baker's Eight, really...

I loved working in Baker. We worked in there for Shakespeare last year and both times it was great to feel my voice booming out into the cavernous hall, the way it changed my rhythm and forced much more attention to articulation. I liked working individually in different locations - Alex and I played on the stairs and through the rows of seats - fun to be in an environment full of obstacles and levels and getting to experience the scene without worrying about the audience. It felt very cinematic.

It was thrilling and almost naughty to be in that big big space with all its imposing seats and reverb speaking from this ancient play - with tech people working out of sight, their little sounds revealing an outside modern presence in contrast with our grand speeches and flowing garments. I felt the religion of it, the spirit of this silly/ecstatic/painful/wonderful thing we call theatre. There we were, doing as the Greeks once did - rehearsing, sending our voices out and up, stretching our bodies in pursuit of expression. It was quite touching. All the earnest faces and bubbling desires to do well, to affect and communicate. I am frequently reminded of my love for people who try. I hope that doesn't sound reductive - not that they aren't successful in their trials, but merely the fact of them taking the risk, working at pushing past the point of the known and familiar and into the uncertainty of creation - that's what is so exciting about art. To experience it yourself is exhilarating, and to effect it in others (as director, for instance) is immensely satisfying.

If My Cold Was a Demon I'd Have David Boreanaz Kill It

Sick sick and more sick.

Class - late. Hit my alarm off button in a sleepy sickly stupor.

Wish I hadn't missed the warm up. Laying in the dark? Yes please.

However, I can't breathe out of my nose. Disappointing.

Sleeping a lot, watching episodes of "Angel" on Hulu.

Don't judge me.

Text work productive last class. Wish I felt better and could commit more time to working on the scene. Worried about my voice on Thursday. Talking in fragments...

Last R&G rehearsal was great. They're finding a connection to the audience - very clown-like, very funny. Question game best it's been - hoping this success will infect the rest of their work. (Used that word a lot in rehearsal...infect....infect....perhaps because I'm feeling so infected.) Looking forward to more work with tragedians...talked to Katie about her work on Electra (which was stunning - I was transfixed!) and how it translates to R&G.

In the spirit of Katherine's blog post....here are some awesome pictures of my nephew.

[sic]

This is my weekend post.
A post about the weekend.
Posted weakly by a weakened weekend.
Weekly.

So surprise: I'm sick. And it wasn't even MY tech week! Alas, the snuffle bug bit me Thursday, and despite much tea-drinking, bed-resting, and vitamin-swallowing (I just thought of how Katie says "vit-amin" with a short "i" - makes me smile) it has hit me full force and taken up residence in my chest.

I tried my best to enjoy a Valentine's day with my Valentine - I had comp tickets to the Cirque Eloize show, so I was determined to drag my sick body over to Baker to see some circus feats. It was good - Nebbia was the name of the show, it's Italian for fog - the Pozzo-like ring-leader had smoke floating out of his big coat the whole time, drifting up to the ceiling. The big trampoline was so joyful...the spinning plates in a sea of reedy sticks... it was dark and fantastic and made me feel like a visitor in a cloudy cobblestoned street.

And Wintertime on Friday - so much fun! I was rocking out. Thoroughly mad cap and great to see fresh faces working hard on stage, the earnestness of effort and the sincerity of young actors. I was impressed by everyone's commitment and courage. Unfortunate that I couldn't attend the cast party...sick sick sick.

I will be well. I will be well. I will be well...

ELECTRA-FYING

Class today was the beginning of a long day of acting and teaching, pushing on my voice which has felt sore since this morning. I felt like it was a successful day, however, and I did the responsible thing and didn't go out to the Ho tonight (even though I was very tempted). I should try to get to sleep early tonight... have a math test tomorrow and I want to kick this cold in the butt before it gathers steam. (Gathers steam...what a lovely metaphor. I see a steam engine chugging forward unevenly, greys and blacks against a misty blue and green landscape...)

I'm ready to do scenework. I really want to plumb those depths, get down and dirty! It's refreshing to get to be the actor instead of the leader (where my head has been focused the past few months). Alex mentioned in his last post the way all of our peers take on so many roles and build relationships on different levels - actor/director, actor/stage manager, director/stage manager, actor/actor, etc. I really enjoy this aspect of our department. It's great to be able to direct and (try to) inspire the people I'm also part of an ensemble with. At longform this oftens happens within the same session - leading exercises and teaching games and then performing and playing alongside my fellow improvisers.

I was really touched, Bess, by your work on the monologue today. When we listened to you in the dark I felt a grief welling up inside me, tangled in with sympathy and appreciation of you, the actor, doing such honest work and trying to touch that soft spot inside. (Did that sound dirty? Oh well, we're supposed to get dirty.) I would not have been as happy to get a monologue as to get a scene, but your work today made we want to undertake one. I hope to do similar boundary-busting work on my scene with Alex.

I look forward to Alex and I getting in the same world and really making a connection. I've never acted closely with Alex so it's exciting to work with someone new. Everyone in the class is setting a high bar. The emotional intensity is going to blow the roof off the black box - I can't wait!

Migraining Cats and Dogs

I am writing to you now from within a fog of migraine medication, squash soup-induced food coma, and computer-hating eye strain. Yet write on I must. Unfortunately I had to cancel rehearsal tonight (damn) and I was so looking forward to getting Katie into rehearsal with Justin and Tim. Luckily they are all good sports and can meet tomorrow night. Migraines are my mortal enemy! I'm getting better at anticipating their arrival each month, but it is difficult to choose to take the necessary medicine in the morning and be hazy and out-of-focus all day, especially if I'm not sure if it's going to be hellish or just a tension headache.

Tuesday's class: great warm up - I enjoyed everyone's contributions, and I hope our confidence grows as a group and really take ownership of that process. We all respect and admire each other (I know I do) and it feels good to follow as well as to lead.

Building our space was not immediately smooth sailing. The group was not always saying "yes and" but "wait, no" sometimes. Of course, sometimes things need to change and go in another direction to improve, but only by trying and looking, building together and maintaining a positive attitude will progress occur. I hope I wasn't too pushy in this respect. I tinkered and played with the "set" - not wanting to just do things "my way" but to see how changes altered the space. After we toga-ed up, I was happy Justin started to read aloud from the Greek "interview." He and I took turns reading, from the Greek perspective, how we viewed the world and found ourselves within it. The group started to explore the space, interact, listen to the oration. I felt good about the experience, but it seemed a little muscled into being rather than organically grown.

Starting on Electra was fun - I enjoyed the physical expression to the words, the grandness, the sense of scale. I'm going to enjoy working on my Electra/Orestes scene with Alex. I want to rock her. It's a beautiful scene, and it has so much in it - from extreme pain to intense joy. What a ride.

Aaarrrgghh is it 11:20 already? Where does the time go?! I have a math test to study for and emails to send...

Into Air, Into Thin Air

Gotta catch up - missed my weekend post, so here it is.

My sister came out to see me Saturday, and we had some good fun sissy time. We went to White Orchids for dinner (Tom Kah soup and a shared plate of pad thai, fried bananas and coconut ice cream for dessert - delicious and decadent!) Then we saw the Momix show at Baker. It was kind of a "Best Of" show of dances all strung together. I preferred their "Lunar Sea" show last year - more ensemble work and fewer breaks between pieces - but it was still incredible and affecting. Their strength and control is stunning. They often work with sculpture and props, and some pieces were just fantastically conceived while others seemed like a smaller part of another work that didn't accumulate in the way it would have originally.

The opening dance was well placed and just breathtaking - a single girl moves slowly and meditatively on a bare stage with a large round hat that has dangling strings of beads all the way around like a veil. She is deliberate, subtle, reverent. She reminds me of a geisha. Slowly she starts to spin. The veil lifts with tension in a whirling cone. She spins faster and faster, the fan of beads flies up and the "hat" opens up and she can put it around her neck and shoulders - she tilts, she bounces, she leaps, she never stops spinning. Her balance is amazing. For minutes she spins, mesmerizingly constant.

Another of my favorite pieces started with a woman seated in a saucer-like structure, three men with long poles standing behind her. They insert the poles at three points of the saucer and they stick up and out. Three women lie beneath the poles, around the saucer. They start to spin the structure, the women popping up between the poles to touch the woman in the center then down as the beam flies over their bodies. The men spin the poles like a merry-go-round. They grab onto the poles and let them carry their bodies, "running" through the air. The men and women dance together on, under, and with the poles. Side by side the three couples each take a pole, one couple pushing theirs toward the floor and the opposite side lifting up into the air, carrying the dancers like angels. It makes me want to fly. In the final image, the women embrace the central woman on the saucer, the men spinning around them noiselessly, their legs in mid stride. The lights dim so that the poles are barely visible, and they look like spirits hanging in the air.

I was reminded of the dance show I saw my freshman year - I think the group was called "Diavolo"? - and how immense their sculpture pieces were. One of their dances featured a giant (HUGE!) wooden, boat-like thing, sort of a large ark. It rocked back and forth, and the dancers would manipulate it by balancing (or unbalancing) their weights on either end of the deck. At one point the boat was head-on with the audience, rocking waaaay back with the front tilting up, up in the air - and suddenly a dancer comes flying over the top, blindly swan diving into the arms of two other dancers downstage. It was shocking. Everyone gasped collectively as one in the audience. It was....indescribable.

This weekend I'm seeing Cirque Eloize: NEBBIA. Their "Rain" show last year was spectacular (it rained on stage and they splashed, slid, and swam in it!) but I'm not sure what the concept for this show is. I hope to be surprised.

Irish Wrishrash

Before I dive into our class on Thursday, I have neglected to post anything on my stalk-ee and so I will do so......NOW.

Everyone has chosen such delightful names for their icons. I've been trying to come up with something all week, and I'm drawing a non-clever blank, so I'm going to close my eyes right now, and when I open them, the first name I see on any surface of my apartment I'll use.....().......

We have a winner! My shadow's name issssssss..... BUELLER. I like it.

So I've been noticing some things about Bueller, the way Bueller talks and Bueller's facial expressions. I haven't paid enough attention to Bueller's walk yet, and I'm still listening for a story....

I enjoyed the table work during class, the interview was cool and great to get into the minds of the Greeks. I think the Greek groveling exercise was a little distracted by wardrobe malfunctions...but I like when the group comes together in an improvisation, worshipping together, mirroring each others movements, discovering the rules together.

On a side note, R&G rehearsals have been going fantastically. We've been working through the two-person R&G scenes, and the guys are getting the physicality and the rhythms in their bodies more and more each night. I'm feeling really good about my instincts - some of my direction has had a great impact and their choices are getting bolder and sharper. And I'm having so much fun! These first rehearsals are making me more confident about taking on the big group scenes. I can't wait for next week.

Leading the Charge

As class was cancelled today (I really missed it but was glad for the extra hours to do some computing) I'd like to talk about how improv is going.

I'm feeling better and better every week about The Hobo Army's progress at longform. As a group we're really starting to meld, even when the attendance isn't always consistent and we have different people in at different times, we're building a culture and I really feel the group mind moving forward. I've learned to be more of a cheerleader than I've been in the past - to drop my own small (or large) worries at the door and try to give myself in to rallying the troops. Even though everyone came in really low energy (which is the typical situation if you're working at 10pm at night) and I could feel the group dipping down at different times, we were able to boost ourselves up and do some great playing. I'm trying to pay more attention to the group's morale and general "vibe," and rather than pushing through with real heady work all of the time get us back to playing once we've made some difficult steps forward. Having fun is the goal of a performance and should be the goal of a rehearsal. I cannot let myself become concerned or frustrated but communicate my enthusiasm for when stuff works and my positive ideas for when stuff gloriously fails.

We still make a lot of weak choices, and I must constantly quiet my own head-voice saying "this sucks, what are you doing, you're arguing, just stop talking until you have something funny to say," but more and more scenes are being built through listening instead of desperation. I'm laughing more. There are more smiling faces. I love these people for believing that I have valuable things to tell them and for concentrating so hard and for playing so sincerely. I am so thankful to them for investing their time and trust to the experience of improvising together. Their commitment allows me do what I love to do. Thanks, guys.

Home w/ the Fam

I had some much-needed time at home this weekend. Went to my sister's for my brother-in-law's birthday Friday night. I love seeing them - it doesn't happen enough. I'm very close to my sister, despite being 15 years apart in age. We're very similar, and I think we both enjoy being silly like little girls when we get together, like a vacation to the past, sometimes to two different pasts that we meld together and approximate being teenagers together.

When I was in pre-school my sister was going to college. One time she took me along with her - I was so excited to go to a big-kid school and get out of boring pre-school for a day. I took my 101 Dalmations coloring book (so I would have "work" to do while she was doing work in class). When I think about it now, I can't imagine bringing my five year old nephew to one of my classes. I didn't realize at the time how bold she was, how cool it was for her to give me that experience even if people thought she was weird. She went to Alvernia, which is a small Catholic college, but it was still probably a very strange thing to do. I remember the professor said "hell" during class and got really embarrassed for cursing in front of me. The other students talked to me, asked to trade for my coloring book, then got focused on class and I just "sat in."

My sister dealt with a lot of crap due to our age difference. She had withdrawn from high school to be home-schooled not too long before I was born (she was not challenged in school and didn't fit in - she took a courses through a University in Nebraska to get a high school certificate) and the ensuing rumor was that I was her child. She'd take me to the mall and have to endure the sidelong glances and stares of those who assumed she was a teenaged mother. But she didn't care - she took me all over the place in her used black Saab, listening to 80s music and talking about elementary school. I'd borrow her sunglasses and watch the way she drove, the way she mouthed the words to her favorite songs. She was so unbelievably cool. She's the one who chose my name, Hilary. My parents asked her to name me. That was only the first gift of many she would freely give, including me and protecting me at an age when most people are at their most selfish.

I hope I can be a similar figure in my nephew's life. He's the coolest little guy, and I love watching him play with Tom. He calls me "Aunt Bean." I miss him while I'm at school, but it's so healing to get home and get to see him - to run around the house and chase each other, to color, to play with his matchbox cars and have tickle fights... I don't ever want to grow up.